I hate to fail. For me, failure is not an option. I’m sometimes scared of new things because of my insecurities of the possibility of failure. I often overanalyze things to the point of inefficiency because I am too scared to just try something. And if something I try fails, it can have a devastating effect.
Once, I tried to repair the antenna on our family vehicle. I read manuals and bought the necessary parts and set out to accomplish my feat. I am not a car guy, but I thought I could take care of it relatively quickly. It was a project that would take no more than a half hour. Three hours later, I shamefully put the old, broken antenna back onto the vehicle. I also had to put back an entire side of the car, because I had taken apart the dash and quite of few other things. This ruined my entire day! I know I should have stopped at some point before I got too far, but I could not accept failure. Not only was I forced to accept that I could not fix this problem, I still think back to that moment as horribly devastating.
Unfortunately, I feel like this week has been a failure. As I look back over the week, I realize the many areas that I failed. I did not accomplish what I hoped to accomplish at my day job. I did not accomplish my goals at the church. I did not blog the one entry I have promised to blog on Tuesday of each week. And most cuttingly, I was not a great father to my son and I failed to be the husband my wife deserves. I even failed at the video game I ignored my wife and son to play. You would think I would have finished the ONE task in the game I wanted to accomplish, but I did not.
Now, I’m not just writing this to complain or gain your sympathy. I do not need that. But there are two things I hope this little post achieves. First, in ministry and life, we all fail. While it is never the goal and while it is a painful experience, we need to know that it happens. If you are reading this and can relate, I want to encourage you that you are not alone.
Secondly, and most importantly, failure should not be the end. I’ve failed a lot this week, but I can dwell on that and fail again next week OR I can do something about it. I can make this week’s failures next week’s successes. I’m starting now. I will not wait until Monday.
To my wife: I love you and I promise you I’ll do better. I will be a better help around the house and I will listen when you are speaking to me. To my son: You are the cutest boy in the world, and we will play with toys and roll around and laugh as much as you want. To my blog readers: I promise two posts minimum next week, my Tuesday recap (which I will make sure is good) and another that will be even better. To my church: Know that this week you will be prayed over like never before. To my God: Thank you for loving me, even when I fail. I know that I let you down this week more than the others, and I’m sorry. I will be the man you have called me to be and I will work to eliminate the distractions that have kept my focus from you and your plan for my life. To my Xbox 360: You’re stupid.