Disclaimer: The following is a somewhat random expression of thoughts that struck me during Christmas. It is mostly raw and unedited, though I did remove some things I wasn’t yet comfortable sharing.
My grandmother always says to me, “We are blessed, blessed.” And she is so right. Christmas is one of those times when I truly recognize just how blessed I am. I have a wonderful, beautiful wife and the cutest little boy you’ve ever seen. My parents love me and have always been good to me. I have three siblings whom I still fight with sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade for anything. I have grandparents who still adore me and are proud of me. And then, I have my in-laws. I have got to be the only person in the world who loves his in-laws as much as I do. I consider them to be my family, not just “my wife’s family” or “my sister’s husband.”
I don’t say all this to brag, far from it. Being with my family this Christmas, a family that actually wants to be around me and I want to be with. A family who can’t wait to give me things I don’t really need, just because they love me. This all has me wondering, why me God? There are so many people in the world who love you and serve you who have so much less. There are many who long for just one good relationship, just one person to love them. And I have so many!
The second half of Luke 12:48 says to “whom much is given, much is required.” The context in which this is found is even more sobering. When Christ returns, whether it be tomorrow or in fifty years or more, I want Him to find me loving someone as much as I’ve been loved. I want Him to find me giving of myself, my possessions, and of the Spirit within me.
Even as I type this, I find my soul turning within me. I’m not totally sure what it all means, and I’m not really sure this is the best place to share these thoughts, but I had to get them out there. Sometimes I convince myself that I give so much and compared to many, I do. But in light of what I have been given, what I give back seems so small.
This isn’t something that is going to go away and that’s a good thing. This is something my wife and I have talked about a lot the last few months, our desire to give more. I hope that God continues to create opportunities for me to do just that, to give of the love that I have so freely received. I’m sure if I keep my eyes open, those opportunities will present themselves daily as I interact with people at work, in the supermarket, at church, and even in my own home.
Serving Him together,